The Stallion Club

It’s hometown visit night, a chance to meet the families and usually a total freakshow – a real highlight if previous seasons are to go by. I still remember fondly the brother with the eyebrows who instantly saw through Richie’s pathetic shit. He was the best thing that happened in that series. I wonder if they’ll make him the next Bachelor?


But, like a romantic date with Courtney, tonight was a real disappointment. The ‘highlights’ were few and far between:

  • Matty J talking about how he’s been a member of the Stallion Club since he was a boy.
  • Jake showing Georgia the family turkey recipe, before getting her drunk on the other family tradition – Double Vodka Passionas.
  • Lee introducing his mother and grandmother – and if it wasn’t for the hilarious dutch accent it would be hard to tell which is which.
  • Courtney’s brother struggling with exactly the same kind of front-facing comb-over as Courtney uses to mask the early signs of hair loss.

I’m really struggling with Bachie fatigue I think. This shit is so formulaic: date, nerves, dinner, random dinner table interrogation by protective brother, proper patio interrogation from protective sister/mother, bachelors who are ‘scared’, people who are ‘nervous’ but ‘having strong connections’, people who are ‘protective’, people who are ‘falling’.  Ho hum.

Anyway we’re down to the final 3 because Courtney again steadfastly refused to admit any kind of feelings for Georgia as he continues to struggle with his sexuality.

With the Melbourne factor, and the fact that his family are clearly rich, there’s plenty of reasons why she might pick Lee. But he continues to seem very camp. Maybe it’s just because his vacuum jeans are too tight?

Besides, I’m starting to get a feeling that it will be Small Man Syndrome’s Matty J who walks away with the girl. He’s struck that perfect balance between:
a) good looks,
b) seemingly normal personality, and
c) total desperation to fall in love and completely commit his whole life to a practical stranger.
It’s a compelling blend, one that Georgia seems to be looking for right now. Plus I don’t think he’s gay, which is a bonus.

What will happen next week?

  • Will Lee tongue-kiss all of Georgia’s face again?
  • Will Jake tongue-kiss her closed mouth again?
  • Will it be Matty and Lee who go on the final dates in Singapore?
  • Will I make it to the end?
  • Will the awkwardness between Housemate A and I dissipate after I asked her out last week?
  • Will Mariska Hargitay ever stop being hot?

The answer to these questions and more, next week, if I can be bothered.

Sponsor’s update: Grant Burge seems to be getting all the love at the moment. And then, just when presenting sponsor Hahn SuperDry finally gets a bit of airtime in Courtney’s date, we get an Asahi SuperDry ad in the break. I wonder what the Hahn Marketing Manager must think of this? I would be pissed off if I was him.

3 thoughts on “The Stallion Club

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