the first one is always going to hurt the most

1

Each year there’s a ‘Jen’
Slutty clothes, acts ‘shy’ and ‘real’
Devious whorebag

 

2

Matty is so dull
Like series-bingeing Offspring
‘Living Room’ feels right

 

3

Bachie deja-vu:
Drunk skank reaches tipping point,
Has world’s worst tattoo

 

Housemate A:
“Pull her in and smoochy-smoochy”

“She’s about to do a full nip-slip”

“Look at the state of the rooms! And she’s got her towel hanging off the bunk bed”


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