“You know, I do love a deconstructed banoffee”

Matty got nuthin’ Monotone cliches, soundbytes, crap banter, can’t dance   Housemate A: “ok that tuna was so overcooked.  “They cook seafood all the time”, but look at it!” “So awkward. he pulled her face in and she gave him the cheek” “I don’t think you should put camel and pants in the same sentence” … More “You know, I do love a deconstructed banoffee”

the first one is always going to hurt the most

1 Each year there’s a ‘Jen’ Slutty clothes, acts ‘shy’ and ‘real’ Devious whorebag   2 Matty is so dull Like series-bingeing Offspring ‘Living Room’ feels right   3 Bachie deja-vu: Drunk skank reaches tipping point, Has world’s worst tattoo   Housemate A: “Pull her in and smoochy-smoochy” “She’s about to do a full nip-slip” “Look … More the first one is always going to hurt the most

Creme La De Creme

  1 Something is broken Finger Stroke, awful ‘poem’ Warning – damaged goods   2 Devil’s Advocate: “Playing Devil’s Advocate” – Not correct usage.   3 Running out of chat, stare. hand on cheek, pout and lean. Matt’s kissing routine.   Housemate A: “That’s not a poem” “Two pashes down” “…with  my bowl of white … More Creme La De Creme

Chasing, pigs

A surprising choice For the first and fateful kiss the girl with no lips     Housemate A: “Imagine if aliens came down and saw this. They’d be like: What. The. Hell.” “How come you’ve never drawn me?” “Not humiliating at all”